Thursday, December 27, 2007

Redskins look to take Madden '08 title

The Redskins look to do the unthinkable tomorrow against the hated Dallas Cowboys and finish the regular season a perfect 16-0. There's just one catch -- the season is on Madden 2008 for PlayStation2.

"Look, the imaginary media was really tough on us before the season," said virtual Clinton Portis, who leads the NFL with 3,454 rushing yards and 75 touchdowns. "Basically, they hated on us. Nobody thought we'd be this good."

After reaching the 15-0 mark with an impressive 73-6 win over the Minnesota Vikings, the Redskins definitely have the look of a team ready to make history.

"We really got tired of hearing all the negative crap from the same stupid analysts on TV," said London Fletcher. "Tiki Barber said we couldn't win because our teeth aren't as white as his. Shannon Sharpe said we didn't possess any 'stallion-like' qualities. Even Bill Cowher, when asked for his thoughts, would just stick out his enormous chin -- and then that's it. He wouldn't even give our team the dignity of an answer or opinion or anything. What a bunch of jerks."

The team has followed in Portis's and Fletcher's footsteps to destroy the competition and break many records along the way. Quarterback Jason Campbell managed to break Peyton Manning's record of 49 touchdown passes -- in Week 12. He currently has thrown for 62 of them. Portis has broken seemingly every record for a running back, and Santana Moss somehow caught 20 passes in the first half of last week's blowout win after the Redskins ran the same play 20 times in a row.

The defense has also been remarkable, led by standout rookie LaRon Landry, who has recorded a league record 63 user big-hits. "Even though we're breaking all these records, a few haters are still out there," said Landry. "They're saying we're not as impressive because we're doing all this on the All-Pro level instead of All-Madden. Well, you know what? Let them come and try to hit me then. We'll see what happens when we turn the injuries option back on."

No matter what is actually said, though, no one has been able to stop the Redskins on either side of the ball. Portis already knows the team is ready for their last game against Dallas and star receiver Terrell Owens: "Virtual T.O. is just as annoying as the real one. We're going to beat him and the rest of the Cowboys and give the imaginary city of Washington something to cheer about for once."

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